Look in my cupboards nothing but cheese and custard
My feet reek like Dijon mustard
So who's that sitting at the bus-stop
While his mums dog take a pee on his Dunlops
I lost my cherry to the solo in November rain
And I'll always die hard like I'm John Mclane
So come on traffic lights go green
And come on STD test be clean
And pretty please Mr. Washing machine
Do your thing and take those funny stains off a my jeans
So come on mum, just leave that prick and
Come home sis at least for a bit
In school I was cool with geography and punch-ups
Picked on by the boy with the transformer lunch box
Who's that sitting at the bus-stop
Look at his mug-shot
It looks like he's been mugged off
Woken up at night by the guard dogs
Plus he' got a pile of old broken alarm clocks
Ey yo I stuff down a big fat breakfast that'd be fit for a builder
I got a crush on the waitress here a bit like Hillsborough
So when I dust I tip a couple of silvers
But I 'aint got a chance 'cos she looks like a film-star
But one fine day I'll be a wealthy fellow
And then my piss-streak will a healthy yellow
But until then it's just me and my neighbours cello
Don't put your drinks on the table, please use my demo
Who's that sitting at the bus-stop look at his mug-shot
Looks like he's been mugged off
Woken up at night by the guard dogs
Plus he's got a pile of old broken alarm clocks
So I guess it's just me and the fruit machine
Would someone please turn down the human-league
I'm trying to win some loot to get a new TV
So I can sit around all day and watch QVC
"Here's a man who would not take it anymore... pregnant women who smoke, it's bollocks, personal claim adverts, it's bollocks, charity muggers, bollocks, operator hold music, bollocks, people who say at the end of the day, bollocks, people who are willing to get off their arses and search the whole room for the TV remote 'cos they refuse to walk over to the TV and change the channel manually, bollocks, fucking easy-jet, bollocks, metro-sexual, bollocks, red nose day, bollocks, fucking bono, bono? Fucking bono, free papers in London, bollocks, sand in your vagina, bollocks, party girls, tail gaters, spam mail, soft porn, bollocks, fucking plot spoilers, Iceland, people who fucking clap when planes land."
