Broad Lic Nic Lyrics

It's a broad lic nic, and I'll tell you while I'm able

Or I'll smash your skull

If you're not drinking enough Black Label

It's a hard man's drink, and though the bottle's broken

Put your money on the table

Strain the glass through your teeth

We grew up lean, mean, kings of the street scene

Without a mother's guiding hand to keep us clean

Down your rum, we'll take life as it come

And all you blue rinse critics lickk our literary bum



I drank my first pure malt before I was three

I smoked a pack of Dutch cigarettes my pappy left for me

And I romanced a little lass who was twelve years my elder, at the age of six I held her

That year I also bed her so before I was seven my first child was born

I told a pack of filthy lies as a politician

Heard my own confession as act of contrition

I spent ten years as a Trappist monk in a village in Tibet (Liar! )

And I walked up Everest naked just to win a bet



Well I cut off my leg to win a one legged race

And when I won I stitched right back into place

I fought Mohammed Ali, I've seduced Mata Hari

I've even worn a sari when I impersonated Gandhi

And I dare any man here to call me a liar (LIARS! )

But I swear I've seen Ezikiel, I swear I've seen Isaiah

Toasting marshmallows in Beelzebub's fire



And we're mad, MAD! Bad, BAD! Dangerous to know

We never gave a tinker's cuss about the seeds we'd sow

And we stay up late and never be forlorn

And when the morning comes around we'll kiss the crack of dawn



We took the whacks from Kerouac's and dusty Dostoyevsky's

And when all was said and done booze was all I had left me

For all the world's great thinkers are all a load of pus!

And if you asked us how Zarathustra spoke,

He spoke thus: "Drink! Drink! Drink!

Drink until your drunk,

Drink until you can't stand up,

'Til you're roly poly stunk.

'Til your bladder bursts, 'til you throw a fit and curse,

'Til they lift you up still comatose and slamdance in the hearse!"



And we're good, GOOD! Bad, BAD! Ugly as sin

We mixed up cough syrup with our gin

So take your medicine

I pray that when I die

There'll be someone else around to kiss my ass goodbye

Yes I pray, I pray, I pray that when I die

There'll be someone else around to kiss my ass goodbye

Send "Broad Lic Nic" Ringtone to your Cell



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