Relaxation is important my community welfare officer suggested I relax more because of the violent outbursts. I’m a lot better now you know so much serious
Serious man I loves to fcukin just sit there have a spliff and relax
most of all I likes watchin the fcukin Antiques Roadshow just in case they values any of them old cock mags I bought down fcukin town centre
I works hard all day selling the draw
Drinking the beer and being chased by the law
I gets in from town and I kicks back large
With a Radox bubble bath and a body massage
I wears a ball bearing all day in my shoe
So I got a bad boy limp when I hangs with my crew
You knows this much and this much is true
I watches Weakest Link on BBC2
I chills with the birds from the council estates
I goes down there joyriding with my mates
I picks one up with greasy hair scraped back
And starts to get it on to Roberta Flack
Take it easy in my council pad
Smokin the draw I don’t get mad
I likes to watch darts on BBC 2
Takin it easy slurpin a brew
When I gets home from work I gotta relax
I get paid cash in hand and I don’t pay no tax
I slips on the pavement without stepping on cracks
I combs my hair with some gel or some wax
I’m into leisure clothing got sandals and slacks
And I got a big spliff that’s like a Tampax
When I’m chillin at home I drinks Pepsi max
But if you fcuk with me I’ll cut you up with an Axe
Going on a day trip up to Big Pit
Some of my mates says the Gift shop is shit
But I’d really like to know how they survive
No draw fags and rizla or GLC vibe
I loves to chill up Pontypool
With the sixth form girls from the local School
I gotta scam going on where they pay me the money
They dress up and then they show me the cunny
Gotta skinhead and I likes the minge
[ ] and a tidy fringe
I wears tracksuits that would make you cringe
When I goes out on a mad drinks binge
Couple of punters on a Tuesday night
Sniffing some poppers I think I might
Bit of speed and I’m high as a kite
Followed by spliffs and I’m out like a light
I puts on the news its got Osama Bin Laden
So I flicks the channel to see a show set in a garden
After seven minutes I puts on ITV
And sees three minutes of romantic comedy
Shot in a studio before an audience that’s live
I think fcukin hell there’s sex on Channel 5
A good erotic thriller that makes me undo my flies
In under 20 seconds my cock starts to rise
Just been er working hard cleaning out the furniture of a dead person’s house
fcukin you’ve gotta relax man you’ve gotta take it way easy man
Goes home I sits in my lazy boy reading special instructional pamphlets
On fcukin relaxing I has a spliff
If your circle stays unbroken then you’re a lucky man
Cos it never, never, never, has for me
In the palace of the virgin lies the chalice of the soul
And it’s likely that you might find the answer there innit
