Are you lonesome tonight
If you are, serves you right
I'm so happy you left me at last
I can still hear you roar
Make the beds, mop the floor
Do the laundry and then mow the grass
You took me for a boat ride
I had to swim back
Darling I thought I'd never
Get out of that sack
Should you fly back again
Park your broom and come in
Darling that's why you're lonesome tonight
Short Spear once said, all the world's a stage. It ain't much of a line, but if it's good enough for Elvis, it's good enough for us.
Act one:
You took me home to meet your folks and I can still hear your father whispering, Son, that girl's cross-eyed, knock-kneed, strong-headed, bucktoothed and all you said was, oh pa, you don't have to whisper, she's deaf too.
Act two:
Our engagement lasted ten years, 'cause I wouldn't marry you when you was drunk. Yeah, and I wouldn't marry you when I was sober.
Act three:
The only romatic thing you ever said to me was, that I creeped into your heart, and I creeped into your brain, creeped into your mind. No, all I ever said was that you is the biggest creep I'd ever seen.
Act four:
We finally settled down in our little honeymoon cottage and every Friday night our friends and neighbours come over to watch the fight. Yeah, we didn't ever have a TV set, but we had a fight every Friday. One night I blacked your eyes, broke your nose and knocked your teeth out and you got chicken and called the cops. You told 'em not to believe a word I said, 'cause I was punch drunk.
So, I'll miss you my pet
Every chance that I get
Darling that's why you're lonesome tonight
But I won't be for long...
