The Count has an eye on his ankle,
And lives in a horrible place.
He wants all your money, he's never at all funny.
He wants to remove your face.
And you might be thinking what a rump this is,
But wait till you meet his accomplices.
When you see Count Olaf, you're suddenly full of
Disgust and dispair and dismay.
In the halls of the soul of Count Olaf
Has no love, when you see Count Olaf, count to zero...
Then scream and run away.
Two women with powdered-white faces.
And one long nosed bald man with warts.
Things worsen and worsen, there's a hook-handed person
And others with nastier parts.
There's evil and unpleasent truth:
At least Count Olaf's acting true
The goal of Count Olaf is getting control of
The fortunes of urchins and orphans who cry.
And these horrors by Count Olaf are no laughing matter.
When you see Count Olaf, count to zero...
Then scream, and run away.
