We drank bottled water together and talked business, I think I played the right moves. You were looking over my shoulder , as I went through the motions of another night. And it is was alright, because I thought I knew who everybody was just by looking at them. My heart is anywhere but here and how tired I was from the past couple of weeks, from the past couple of years, well it hit me all at once. On a balcony overlooking nothing, with snow falling all around, I called just to say good night. And you hadn't done anything wrong, really, it's me not you. I Can't believe how naive I was to think things could ever be so simple. And can you live with what you know about yourself, when you're all alone, behind closed doors, the things we never said but we always knew were right there. It's got me on my knees in a bathroom, praying to a god that I don't even believe in, "Dear Jesus.. are you listening?" If this is the one chance that really matters, don't let me fuck this up. If you had told me about all this when I was fifteen, I never would have believed it.
