Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. Sender –
We're pleased to inform you that your application’s been accepted
Starting from the time you get this letter
Your life will be one never-ending “Hope you’re feeling better”
You get your choice of anesthetic
We need to chop your clock off (tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock)
It might not be what you expected
There is no money back once you’ve been ripped off, ripped off, ripped off...
Today’s a very special day
The boys’ll murder for it, but what will the neighbors say?
It leaves you feeling pretty hollow
It might be nice to look at – don’t forget you’re stuck with it tomorrow (and tomorrow and tomorrow...)
You’re big enough to stop pretending
You’ll start to really show within a week or so
So don’t go saying it’s just come to your attention
You’ll get more than you’re asking for without the right protection
Today’s a very special day
And how you’d love to have a little thing with which to play
But love won’t get you very far
Today be still your beating heart
You’ll have to keep on feeding it tomorrow (and tomorrow and tomorrow...tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrows...)
Boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will beat girls with no warning
Girls will be girls will beat guys will beat boys that don’t cry over toys that they use to beat girls they despise by the morning
They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you...
No second thoughts, the knife is nearing
You’ll never hear the little pitter patter pitter patter
Of this little feat of engineering
Of course I love you and of course it’s what’s inside that matters
But I think the whole charade is ending
It seems to me to be the only way to keep from getting
Caught up in a long life of regretting
The doctors say that once you get a taste for it you’ll keep on cutting
But while we happen to be here
Why don’t you whisper all those sweet forevers in my ear?
Stiff upper lip in all this sorrow
Hurry up and stick it in
You never know when it will end
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow...
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow...
They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you...
