Raise your glass
We have incorporated
Place your bets
We’re all so sick of waiting
Queen takes jack
You’ve got me this time, but I’ll get you back
So pick a number
To all the ones who tried the most
Was I supposed to cheer your efforts?
Sorry that I chose so poorly
Golly gee, am I the poster girl?
She’s the kind of girl who looks for love in all the lonely places
The kind who comes to poker, pockets stuffed with kings and aces
She’s the kind of girl who only calls you over when it’s raining
Just to make you lie there catching water dripping from the ceiling
Lift your hats
Off to the checkout girls with tattooed backs
They’d make angels’ skin crawl
If you ask
Them for assistance, there’s an even chance
You’ll get a number
To all the girls of pearl, the surly boys who get to masticate them
I’ve a prize for each and every one of you, so just be patient
To all the ones that hated me the most,
A toast; you really had me
Going for a second; I was nervous
Boy, am I the poster girl
She’s the kind of girl who gets her slings and arrows from the Dumpster
The kind who tells you she’s bipolar just to make you trust her
She’s the kind of girl who leaves out condoms on the bedroom dresser
Just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her
To all the ones that thought they knew me best,
A test, to prove your prowess
Who was mine in ’99? I want last names and current status
To all the ones that hated me the most,
A toast; you really had me
Going for a second; I was nervous
Boy, am I the poster girl
For a suburban sickness
Better keep a healthy distance
Now it’s up to you
Know what to do
It’s pretty dirty business
