{*a parody of Coolio's song "Gangsta's Paradise"*}
As I walk through Las Vegas oh this city is def
I take a look in my wallet and realize there's nothing left
'Cause I've been bettin' and losing for so long that
I still hear lots of bells and my money is gone
But I ain't never played a game that was really worth it
Me win on a slot machine, you know that's unheard of
But then this one machine I'm playing, just kept on payin'
Unfortunately that was the ATM
I bet through dinner time so I skip the meal
As the ball goes by my number on the roulette wheel
Damn, I'm the type of guy who never seems to beat the odds
But I'm back every night saying goodbye to the green gods
[chorus]
I keep paying out the price
When I roll this lousy pair o' dice
(repeat)
The dice are laughing at me, they always trap me
I can't roll a number seven, I get plagued by the craps
I put all my money down to throw my point
But not only don't I get it I don't see the point
My luck it all ran out 'cause I couldn't find the cork
Seen more craps in my life than a plumber from New York
I'm a brainwashed gambler and chronic cursor
But my luck's gotta change because it can't get worse
Piles of chips like to dwindle away
I make less in a year than what I lost today
I got 23 mortgages, should I make it 24?
Oh hell, it doesn't matter, just one more
Tell me why are we so blind to see
That they'll take us for every last penny?
(chorus)
Liquor and the money, money and the liquor
When alcohol is thinking, the money goes quicker
Everybody's betting, and most of them are losing
But they don't give a damn, because of all the boozing
My butt is going numb 'cause I lost the circulation
I can't afford the plane ticket back from my vacation
I'm outta cash, I'm outta luck, I stepped in crud
I think I'm gonna try and sell my blood now
