MARK
Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger
ROGER
I'm writing one great song --
MARK
The phone rings.
ROGER
Yesss!
MARK
We screen.
ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE
"Speak" ... ("Beeeep!")
(Lights fade up on the street: the front-door area of MARK and
ROGER's building. Nearby is a battered public pay phone. TOM
COLLINS stands at the phone.)
COLLINS
"Chestnuts roasting ---"
ROGER & MARK
(as MARK picks up the phone)
Collins!
COLLINS
I'm downstairs
MARK
Hey!
COLLINS
Roger picked up the phone??
MARK
No, it's me.
COLLINS
Throw down the key.
MARK
A wild night is now pre-ordained
COLLINS
I may be detained.
MARK
What does he mean...?
What do you mean "detained"?
BENNY
Ho ho ho.
MARK & ROGER
Benny! Shit.
BENNY
Dudes, I'm on my way
MARK & ROGER
Great! Fuck.
BENNY
I need the rent
MARK
What rent?
BENNY
This past year's rent which I let slide
MARK
Let slide? You said we were 'golden'
ROGER
When you bought the building
MARK
When we were roommates
ROGER
Remember -- you lived here!?
BENNY
How could I forget?
You, me, Collins and Maureen
How is the drama queen?
MARK
She's performing tonight
BENNY
I know.
Still her production manager?
MARK
Two days ago I was bumped
BENNY
You still dating her?
MARK
Last month I was dumped
ROGER
She's in love
BENNY
She's got a new man?
MARK
Well -- no
BENNY
What's his name?
BOTH
Joanne
BENNY
Rent, my amigos, is due
Or I will have to evict you
Be there in a few
(ROGER defiantly picks out Musetta's theme from Puccini's La
Boheme on the electric guitar. The fuse blows on the amp.)
