Don't smoke, don't fight, don't light no cigarettes
Or else you'll wind up in the can
no jokes, don't write, sit tight, don't fool around
you are a guest of Uncle Sam
stand up, look right, don't slouch and stand at ease
Allow no sex above the knees
When I snap, you jump into the master plan
I'll be damned
well, I'll be damned
I'll be damned
If I drink or smoke
Damned, if I steal your jokes
I'll be damned
If I go for broke
damned if I do
damned if I don't
Don't talk, don't fool, don't try to mess around
I'll make a monkey out of you
you sign your name right on the dotted line, boy
I'll be damned
I'll be damned
if I drink or smoke
damned
If I steal your joke
I'll be damned
if I go for broke
damned if I do
I'm damned if I don't
come on
I'll be damned
if I drink or smoke
damned
if I steal your joke
I'll be damned
if I go for broke
I'm damned if I do
I'm damned if I don't
I'll be damned
if I drink or smoke
damned
if I steal your joke
I'll be damned
If I go for broke
I'm damned if I do
I'm damned if I don't
