Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
I had a cousin who came from Vermont
Next thing I know, that cousin was gone
Truck driver saw him picking up Hitchhiker Joe
Now his spleen's on the sidewalk helping flowers grow
Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
My best friend Eddie called from L.A.
Said we'd have dinner later that day
I've got a feeling, and it's more than a hunch
My poor friend Eddie was that hitchhiker's lunch
Don't pick up Hitchhiker Joe
He'll slit your throat
And cut off your big toe, I tell you
He'll make you smile
From ear to ear
Gonna lock you in a trunk
For ninety-nine years
Don't do it now
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Bom, bom, bom, bom
Hitchhiker Joe ain't no vegetarian
If you see him on the highway
Steer clear of him
He got a knife in his sock
And a razor up his sleeve
And a chainsaw in his pack
And he's gonna make you bleed, yeah, yeah
Bom, bom, bom, bom
