I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, so Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs
They believe in Muhammed, and not in our holiday,
And so every December I go to the Middle East and say
Hey there Mr Muslim, Merry Fucking Christmas
Put down that book, the Koran,
And here's some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed it's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Muslim ass and fucking celebrate
There is no holiday season in India, I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings, and that is just absurd
They've never read a Christmas story,
They don't know what Rudolph is about.
And that is why in December I'll go to India and shout
Hey there Mr Hinduist, Merry Fucking Christmas
Drink Egg Nog and eat some Beef and pass it to the Missus
In case you haven't noticed it's Jesus' birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass and fucking celebrate
Now I heard that in Japan everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several Gods, and put needles in their skin
On December 25th, all they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan, and walk around and say
Hey there Mr Shintoist, Merry Fucking Christmas
God is going to kick your ass you infidelic Pagan scum
In case you haven't noticed, there's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus, Merry Fucking Christmas to you
On Christmas day,
I travel 'round the world and say
To all you Christians, Buddhists, and all you Atheists too
Merry Fucking Christmas to you
Thank you Mr Hat
