Letting down all my family and friends
They think I am different, well that depends.
If different means not changing one fucking bit
Well then, I guess that I'm definitely it.
Do they see inside of my black soul?
Can they see the empty, monstrous hole?
There is no one to blame except for myself
I thought I addressed it, when I just put it on the shelf.
Afraid to admit my easy defeat
Could've gotten some help or some sympathy at least.
Pride is my downfall and my major crutch
I look back on the past and realize...
I haven't change that much.
I will never change
No matter how hard I try,
It's easier to not ask why.
It's a battle I was meant to lose
I wish that I could choose,
But it's an ever-bleeding wound.
I will never, never change.
Crying won't help, it will only sting
The hurt I sustained when I tried to fight those things.
Salt on an open wound found on my heart
Caused by the escaping good that left me in the dark.
How many times have I tried in vain to hope?
How many separate times will I reach the end of my rope?
I'm sick of fighting a war that can't be won
I'll just wave the white flag, then it'll finally be done.
I will never change
No matter how hard I try,
It's easier to not ask why.
It's a battle I was meant to lose
I wish that I could choose,
But it's an ever-bleeding wound.
I will never, never change.
So sick and tired
Of this shit!
I don't want to be like this!
Go away!
Never return!
I don't want to feel this hurt...
