You start off in the womb, yeah, where it's nice and warm
Thins are lookin' good, then it's time to be born
The doctor yanks you out and slaps you on the butt
And before you know it, your umbilical cord is cut
They drag you from your mama, wheel you down the hall
To a room full of babies, who just lie there and bawl
Lyin' in a diaper, feelin' like a fool
Things'll get much worse when it's time to go to school
You're crammed into a classroom with 30 other kids
Good you get nothing-bad you get hit
Nobody likes you and the classroom is cold
You're stuck with a textbook that's 35 years old
The bullies beat you up the teachers put you down
You're sittin' in the corner don't dare make a sound
If you learn one thing, you'd better learn to curse
'Cuz from now on your life gets even worse
Now you are older and have to get a job
You will buy a house you will buy a Saab
You'll get up in the morning you will feel like dyin'
As the years go rollin' by, you'll slowly lose your mind
You were once a young man, but now you're turnin' grey
>From lisoening to people talk about the judgment day
Now you've retired, goodbye to your job
And you've lost your teeth, goodbye to corn-on-the-cob
You'll look back on your life and all the things you did
Standin' in the yard, yellin' at the neighbor kids
Now you're kickin' back don't have a care
You will see the world from your Craft-matic chair
You'll move to Arizona where all the old folks go
You will vote Republican y you'll see UFO's
The one day you die you find your self in hell
with the lake-o'-fire and that awful brimstone smell
You were really good, but you weren't good enough
Yes, living isn't easy, but dying's really tough
Then you'll look around and see how it's gonna be
Yes, my friend, you're screwed for all eternity
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