1. MY BEAGLE DRIVES A RABBIT
ALL NIGHT LONG
HE AND HIS BUDDY PETE CRUISE THE BUSH ROADS
OUT OF TOWN
WELL I SORTA SUSPECTED THOSE TWO RIGHT
FROM THE START
NOW A STICK OF DYNAMITE WON'T BREAK
THOSE TWO APART
2. THE BUDDIES THINK HE'S A GOOD OLE'
STUDDLY HOUND
THE GREATEST DAMNED OLE' RABBIT DRIVING
MUTT AROUND
BUT THEY DON'T KNOW HIS TAIL WAGS THE
OTHER WAY, HOLY WAH
I'M TELLING YOU, I THINK MY
BEAGLE'S GAY
CHORUS:
IT'S HUMILIATING, AGGRAVATING,
FRUSTRATING, IRRITATING
WHEN YOUR DOG'S A FORNICATING
ON THE MAIL MAN'S LEG
THE HUMILIATION, AGGRAVATION,
FRUSTRATION THAT YOU FEEL
WHEN YOUR DOG'S GOT A RED ONE
FOR THE NEIGHBOR'S BULLDOG STAG
IT'S REPUGNANT, SHOULD I MAKE HIM CHANGE HIS WAYS?
IT'S REDUNDANT, WILL HE ALWAYS BE THIS WAY?
YOU KNOW LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING
AND LOVE IS BLIND THEY SAY
BUT I'M NOT SURE, I THINK MY BEAGLE'S GAY
3. DA WIFE TOLD ME THAT I WAS
BEING A FOOL
IT'S JUST ANOTHER DOGGY PHASE
HE'S GOING THROUGH
SO I TOOK HIM TO MUTTIE MAKIE'S
DOWN THE STREET
HE HAD A BEAUTIFUL FEMALE BEAGLE
SHE WAS IN HEAT
4. I SAID TO MY DOG, "GO GET HER STUDDLY,
YEAH, HAVE SOME FUN"
"SHE'S RIGHT OVER THERE, COME ON, GO AHEAD,
SHOW OLE' MUTTI HERE HOW IT'S DONE"
WELL, HE WENT OVER THERE AND
TOOK A SNIFF
BUT THEN HE YAWNED AND TOOK A
GREAT BIG POOP
MUTTI LAUGHED AND LAUGHED,
I FELT LIKE A STOOP!
