It's the time of year
Now that spring is in the air
When those two wet gits
With the girly curly hair
Make another song for
moronic holidays
That nauseate-ate-ate-ates
In a million different ways
From the shores of Spain
To the coast of southern France
No matter where you hide
You just can't escape this dance...
Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet
And then bury all your clothes
Paint your left knee green
Then extract your wisdom teeth
Form a string quartet
And pretend your name is Keith
Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog
And behead an Eskimo
Eat a Renault Four
Wear salami in your ears
Casserole your gran
Disembowel yourself with spears
The disco is vibrating
The sound is loud and grating
It's truly nauseating
Let's do the dance again...
Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deckchair up your nose
Yes you'll hear this song
In the holiday discos
And there's no escape
In the clubs or in the bars
You would hear this song
If you holidayed in Mars
Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog
And behead an Eskimo
Now you've heard it once
Your brain will spring a leak
And tho' you hate this song
You'll be humming it for weeks...
